Attempted…murder?

We were walking home after a nice date night.
The weather was amazing, the sky was clear and a gentle breeze, with the smell of smog (yeeey, big city), was spread.
We didn’t care.
We had a blast, the pasta was amazing, the wine even better.
As we were walking home, someone stopped us in an alley.
I sighed.
My wife just smiled.
“Give me your wallet, purse, jewellery and anything of value!”
The dude said, with a gun pointing at us.
He was clearly anxious, scared, angry, hungry, and really, really in withdrawal of something.
My wife, as always, was calm.
“Of course, here, take it.
You too sweetie, give the gentleman what he asks for.”
She said, as she gently tossed her purse, her necklace, rings and earrings that she took out with professionalism in mere seconds.
I did the same…but…
I was a hunky dude.
Tall, and well-built, after all, I worked in construction for so long, and I also liked sports.
I guess it scared the robber for he screamed, and shot his entire magazine at us.
And obviously, my wife had to “protect” me.
As the bullets just rolled off her, she sighed.
“My dress..”
She lamented.
One stray bullet hit me as well, puncturing my nice suit.
“And my suit…”
I sighed as well.
We didn’t really care, but the robber just straight out fainted.
“Honey, I told you.
Catch the bullets, and make them think they missed.”
I said.
“Come on, who thought that a scaredy chicken like him will actually fire?
Or that he actually had bullets in that gun.”
My wife rolled her eyes.
I shrugged.
“Okay, but the hell we will do now?
Call the police for what?
Robbery?
Attempted…murder?
Will he be the perpetrator or us?
Also, I can get a job easily, but you love your little design job here in the big city.
We shouldn’t move.
We need to solve this.”
I said.
“Just leave, you doofus.”
She giggled, taking her earrings, necklace, purse up, rings and also giving me my wallet, and ring.
“Oh, yeah, we weren’t here.”
I chuckled, as we left.
After a few days, just to be sure, we checked the police records, and someone found the dude unconscious, but thought he OD’d.
He was taken to the ER, and everything was okay.
We were happy, albeit our tailor was pissed when he saw the state of our clothes…