This is getting annoying

Watching the skies crack, burst into flames and fall, should be terrifying.
Horrifying.
Mesmerising or even…worship inducing.
But to me…it’s goddamn boring.
Why?
Because it’s the fiftieth time I see it happen.
I see reality fail, humanity and other civilization fail, and time and space being rend apart, as figures I can’t really see walk across the falling sky.
Then blackness.
And then light, and I cry.
Whether I like it or not.
Just like now.
“It’s a boy.”
Doctor Murphy said.
I knew him, heck, I even dated his granddaughter in one of my lives.
And I wish I could tell him that I am a man, thank you very much.
But alas…
My vocal cords aren’t well-developed enough as of now.
And being in a baby’s body, I was still crying and in pain.
Screw those isekai novels.
Being so young, no matter how strong my will is, how strong my mind or soul is, my instincts still win.
Okay, I do learn stuff faster at this point, so on that, the novels were right.
But come on, no such things as an adult control over your body at mere 1-2 months old.
This is really getting annoying.
Every single time we fail, we go back.
A hard reset of the universe.
And with me…
With me being the only one who remembers.
Or at least I think so.
Obviously, at my first reset, a.k.a. my 2^nd life, I was confused, so I amounted to nothing.
On my third run, I become slightly rich.
On my 4^th, rich and influential.
On my 5^th, I was homeless…as it didn’t work out as I believed it would.
From my 6^th forward, I learnt a lot, and with lifespan being increased from decade to decade, it wasn’t hard to learn new stuff.
I made new discoveries, breakthrough.
Be it in science, politics, tactics or even entertainment and occult.
I am trying them all.
From time to time, I died before the reset, but oddly enough, I was always brought back with my memories intact…
This is my fifty-first run.
This time, I will be trying to go on a completely hermit route.
Who knows, maybe with combining science with the occult, I will manage to fulfil the unknown requirements for the universe not to be reset.
Or maybe…
Maybe I will be getting to levels of existence so high, I can survive the reset, without transforming into a baby.
Which now…it is feeding time…
Mom, I love you…but I am a grown ass man…mentally…
Oh, this is getting annoying…