Another month, another job.
Seriously, I don’t get it why is it so bad that my superpower is that of simple superhuman physical abilities.
I could have been a superhero.
Alas, fate had dealt me other cards, and due to my precious daughter’s condition, all I am good for is to be a goon for the villains…
Villains that are getting caught, every single time…
Truth be told, by this point, I worked under almost all the villains of my city.
Some, I worked for more than once.
Carrying stuff, building hideouts, taking some hits for them, pretending to be them, and so on were my tasks.
And this time, I managed to land another job with one of my first employers.
She wasn’t an evil evil villain, it’s only that she hated restrictions, loved healing people, even villains and corrupt individuals.
Thus, she was banned from procuring ingredients from legal institutions, leading her to live an rather illegal life.
Albeit, her actions are that of saving lives, since her power is related to healing, she is seen as a horrendous villain whom keeps other villains alive.
This time, she had another horrible idea of a heist.
“Sorry, little lass, but couldn’t you just offer the money to someone, buy it through legal channels, and have them take it to you?”
I offered an idea, I thought it was simple.
One of the other goons scoffed, and tried to mock me, but Eleanor, the villainess, shut him up.
“Now that you mention, I have friends in hospitals across the globe, wouldn’t be hard to get this rare material…”
She murmured, already dialling a number.
I was flabbergasted.
Did the villains really ignore these big possible actions, and just went for the most idiotic yet direct way ?
The answer is yes.
Yes they do ignore, and they do such mistakes, it’s no wonder I lose my employer every single month…
So, in order to have a proper employment, and to avoid getting half-pay checks (yes, villains actually pay their goons), I started offering advice to the villains I worked for.
Like simple advices such as: don’t work together with villains you had scuffles with.
Don’t target the family of heroes, they are bound to be extremely protected, and it would make the hero extremely angry, not scared.
Don’t target the hero on their happiest day, as happiest day most likely equates most important day as well, thus they would be prepared for shenanigans from their enemies.
Don’t try to be overly smart, it won’t work, bribe people it always works, don’t think anyone would be pleased to do something for you just because you are: scary, popular or powerful.
Simple common sense gained after seeing my employers doing it over and over again and failing.
It was experience gained wisdom, and a bit of open mindedness.
Seemingly it worked.
I got a raise, got even hired as an advisor and not a goon.
My daughter got the treatment she needed.
It was a win-win for all of us, since no conflicts arose, thus no casualties happened…