Apocalyptic apocalypses planning

Humanity has advanced to its limits, expending through the stars, and beyond.
But nowadays, it seems like the universe wants us gone.
As I was groggily waking up, deciding whether to log in to the lecture or not, the alarms started blasting once more.
“Argh, again?
What is it now?”
I murmured, opening the door.
“It’s a volcanic eruption of epic propor…
Never mind, the drones drew the lava out, and shields have been risen so no wave will affect us.
Come, breakfast is ready.”
My mom shouted from downstairs, as the alarms quieted down.
Yeah, this wasn’t the first time something, or someone started the end of the world…just for it to be stopped by us, humans or stopped by itself.
Our planet alone had had its fair share of “apocalypses”.
A neighbouring galaxy thought it would be appropriate to randomly start a war, and invade us.
They sent countless ships to our planets, to our planet as well, but they forgot to do their research.
The galaxy was inhabited by a race that was extremely sensitive to noises, their galaxy being almost silent, as even their stars were covered by artificial structures.
Lo and behold, they come to ours, and they couldn’t step out of their spaceships, for they would’ve just died…
They retreated and apologised, sending proper compensation.
Still, an armada of spaceships appearing in the skies was quite a sight to behold.
Then, we had the 10 thousand volcano eruptions, which were already prepared for, so drones sucked off anything coming out of the volcano, while the coasts of our countries were protected by shields from the humongous waves.
Then, some smartasses thought it would be nice to summon some creature from a random book “they found” centuries ago.
Lo and behold, besides a stormy weather, and crackling lightning, nothing happened.
Later on, it was said that they made a mistake during the ritual and the resonance with the entity wasn’t established properly.
Then the many “oh no, this or that failure” which were prepared for, and handled properly.
Then we had the rain of meteors, that somehow always missed our planet just by a bit…
The alarms started blasting again.
“Now what, mom?”
I said, walking down the stairs.
“Hmm, they say some insects mutated, and now they reproduce faster and are quite dead…
Never mind, they’ve found their natural predator also mutated, so it’s not going to be an issue if we are careful.”
She giggled.
I am but 16, but in my short years of living, I already encountered tens of thousands of “end of the world apocalypse scenarios…”
All foiled by themselves?
Or by proper guidelines?
Or by preparedness ?
These apocalypses have an apocalyptic planning, because they never work out as intended…

Published by omnithenerva

Wannabe fiction writer. In love with mythology, and fantasy themes.

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