The Envoy that never changes

I was bored, and tired, waiting here in the nothingness…
Seriously, why are all these outer gods, or old gods, or whatever this one is, always coming into our universe when I am napping?
Well…I am kind of napping all the time, so I shouldn’t be too harsh…
As I was yawning, and half falling asleep once more, a great tremor ran across the void.
Suddenly, a spot manifested in front of me, which slowly transformed into the figure of a woman.
She wore a beautiful laced black dress, with red high-heels.
Her hair was of an amethyst purple, and her eyes were red as freshly spilt blood.
The nothingness, the void around her glitched, showing true horrors and true bliss from time to time.
She was the one I was waiting for.
“Finally here, who do you want to visit?”
I asked, yawning.
My universe was said to be the first one to exist.
To become something inside the nothing.
So, a lot of old hermits, old fellas and lasses came here long ago, and they have…a lot of friends, disciples and seekers…
Bunch of nap interrupting individuals, I categorize them as.
“You, a mere mortal, dares to take such a tone with me?”
She asked, puffing, and huffing around.
I yawned.
“Listen, Oh Great Old One, New One, Outer One, or whatever breed you are this time.
I want to go back to my naps, so tell me, who do you want to visit?
Or, good luck finding those individuals whom are probably older than the hole you crawled out from.”
I said, shrugging.
If she’s smart, she won’t start her “evil” monologue, listing the things she would do to me, my family, my dog, my loved ones, and so on.
“I’ve been told that this realm’s envoy is special…
It seems like it wasn’t just a rumor.”
She said, now smiling.
“Argh…Did I forget to make some of the visitors sign the non-disclosure agreement?
Off…I hate attention…”
I murmured.
“No, you haven’t, but did you really think all those almighty beings won’t figure out a loophole?”
She asked, giggling.
“They were too young, too naïve, but I guess, they changed.”
I shrugged, yawning.
“So, who are you visiting?”
I continued.
“If I told you that I wanted to visit you, what would you do?”
She smirked.
“You saw me, you visited me, goodbye.”
I said.
“Aw, so cold…
I want to visit Mother Fortune, I know she’s around here somewhere.”
She said, pouting a bit.
“She’s on a merchant planet, living as an innkeeper…
Quite cliché and cheesy, but she’s doing great.
I will take you to her.”
I said, yawning.
After a while, she got bored.
“Aren’t we…going?”
She asked.
“We are still waiting for an annoying one to appear…
I mean, a visitor to appear.”
I said, yawning.
After a while, the void trembled once more, and a towering figure, with the body of a serpent, head of a lion, antlers of a deer and wings of a butterfly appeared in front of us.
“Hey beastie, since mortals are the most widespread layer of civilization in this universe, I have to ask you to take on a humanoid form.
Their minds are hyperactive, and I don’t want more myths and faiths to spawn as they usually do when you visitors come by…”
I said, yawning.
“Insolence!
A mere bug dares to demean my greatness?!
I am the Ruler of 10.000 tribes, the one who united all demon and beastfolk, I am the Emperor Of Myriad, bow before me!”
He exclaimed.
I yawned, and the lady next to me just giggled.
“Look, tell me who you are here to visit, and let’s go…
I wasted so many hours of napping…”
I said.
He inched closer to me, his fangs hundreds of times bigger than me.
I flicked one of them, sounded metallic.
“What gives you the courage, mere Envoy of this realm…
To behave like this with me?”
He questioned, growling.
“I never change…
You visitors, always do.”
I said, yawning.
He froze a bit, before laughing.
He transformed into a middle-aged man, with a cane with a deer head, two antlers held his palm.
“I wish to visit Her Excellency, Life or at least her first born daughter.”
He said.
“Oh, granny Life is on holiday with his husband and newest kid, true kid this time.
But the first born is on a small little planet, taking care of extinct species of animals and flowers.
I will take you to her.”
I said.
With that I left, and they followed me.
I don’t mind their behavior, because it’s normal for them to be proud at their level.
But what I said it’s true.
I lost count how many Emperors of Chaos, Swordsman of Light and whatnot deities, devils, demons I’ve met.
Many have been different, yet with the same title…
But I…
I remained the same…
It’s annoying, a lot of work…
Thankfully, there is quite the gap between visits, so I can nap…
Oh, napping…what a wonderful hobby it is…

Published by omnithenerva

Wannabe fiction writer. In love with mythology, and fantasy themes.

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