Unbearable Cold

It was summer, but as my father talked to me, I shivered.
His voice was never this cold, no matter what I did.
“You did what!?”
He asked, his voice stabbing deep, shaking me to the core.
“I’ve placed the 2^nd at the entrance exam, 99%. Someone had aced it.”
I said, tumbling with my fingers, fidgeting, and watching my toes.
I feared to look into his eyes.
For honesty’s sake, I’ve ranked 2^nd out of 70000 applicants, that means something in the real world, I even got to talk with the dean of the university, but for my father…
“You placed 2^nd? What? You couldn’t answer such simple questions? Did my money for tutoring you go to somewhere else?”
He questioned, in a calm voice, but it was cold.
I was shivering, and couldn’t properly think.
“N-n-n-no…The tutor did a great job, but the questions were tricky, and I answered 2 of them in an incomplete manner…”
I answered.
“You fool! You know why you did wrong, and you dare to come home so satisfied with your results?! Go to your room! Now!”
My father said.
“But..”
I tried to retort.
“Now…”
He said, with a gaze that could kill.
I quickly ran upstairs and huddled under a thousand blankets, shivering, and almost crying.
Questions started filling my mind, making me feel colder and colder.
“Why couldn’t I answer the questions properly? Why wasn’t I able to come up with answers? Why didn’t I study more? Why couldn’t I be better?…”
As I slowly froze, and my heart started to become a piece of ice, I heard the front door open, then slam.
“Where is our little star?”
I warm voice, my grandma’s could be heard.
My father coolly answered.
“The failure is upstairs.”
When I heard his answer, I shivered, even under the mountain of blankets…
The cold feeling was unbearable, even though it was summer, the summer heat melting the road, the county issuing heat stroke warning, yet I was freezing…
A *thud* was heard, before my father exclaimed.
“Mother!”
“Shut up, you piece of ice.”
My grandma said, before I heard here coming up the stairs.
Not long after, knocks were heard on my door.
“Enter…”
I said, weakly.
“My princess, tell me why are you covered in blankets in this heat?”
My grandma asked, sitting down on my bed.
“I’ve disappointed father…”
I answered.
“Oh, ignore that block of ice. He loves you, wants the best for you, but pressures you too much.”
My grandma said, patting my back.
“B-b-but I could’ve…”
I started to say.
“Yes. You could’ve taken 1^st place, but 2^nd place is just as amazing. You even appeared on the news! That’s how I heard about it.”
My grandma said, smiling.
“But father…”
I said weakly.
“He has some unearthly expectations from you, Lily.
Listen to grandma, Lily: Don’t shape your life, after the expectations of others.”
Grandma said.
I just nodded, sniffling.
“But I wanted to be the 1^st …”
I said.
“Did you try your best?”
Grandma asked.
“Yes.”
I nodded.
“Then it’s all right. Life won’t always go as you planned.
But, if you always do your best, there won’t be place for regret in your heart, right?”
Grandma asked, smilingly.
I nodded.
She’s right.
I tried my best, and achieved a result that made all my friends be proud of me.
“Don’t be so sad, you are 18, a young adult Lily. People around you will always expect things from you, but sometimes, not even you yourself, won’t be able to know what to expect from your own person.
I know how it is, after all, I finished a law school, became a nurse, before becoming the mayor. “
Grandma said, chuckling.
“And you wanted to be a perfect housewife to your childhood crush!”
I chimed in, now laughing.
“Indeed! How good it was when I was young!”
Grandma said, before starting her neverending stories.
She made me feel better, albeit some ice was still covering my mind, I was getting better.
My father’s words are hard to forget, and accept, but slowly…I will get over them, and live my life fully!